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Chances of Running Into Your Ex



*Statistics extrapolated from personal experience, where the Chance Of Unexpectedly Running Into Your Ex and How Great You Look is an inversely proportional relationship

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Night Life of Seward, Alaska

If you've never experienced a night out in a small town, I highly recommend that you try it before you die.

Here in Seward, aside from sighting water or a mountain, the least challenging task that you could undertake would be to locate an establishment that serves beer. Following that, the next easiest task would be finding someone willing to consume beer along with you.

Due to convenience, drinking often begins at the Small Boat Harbor. The harbor is where most tour boats and fishing charters depart from and return to, thus at knock-off time, employees, captains, deckhands and fishermen need only cross a single street before arriving at alcohol.

At ambience-free locations such as The Breeze, patrons enjoy a drink or two, maybe a bite to eat, and then, pending their willingness to continue spending their minimum wage on beer, they begin to trickle downtown, about a mile away. Means of transportation include walking, bicycling, driving or taking a taxi. Since the number of taxi…

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Personal Space: How Close Is Too Close?

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Boat Passenger Comment Card #5

Part of my job up here in Seward, Alaska, involves entering the feedback we receive from hundreds of comment cards that are returned to us by passengers after they have taken our boat tours. These are some of their least feasible suggestions. 




Comment Card
August 29th, 2013
Herman W, Germany


What can we do to improve the tour?

Cruise closer to mountains. Would help it be more dramatic and inspiring



Dear Herman,

It sure would! Especially if the boat hit the rocks and sank. Then you could mentally compose an inspiring poem while waiting for the coast guard to arrive and save whoever hadn't yet drowned. Good times!
We thank you for your feedback.

Boat Passenger Comment Card #2

Part of my job up here in Seward, Alaska, involves entering the feedback we receive from hundreds of comment cards that are returned to us by passengers after they have taken our boat tours. These are some of their least feasible suggestions. 


Comment Card
June 21st, 2013
Anonymous, Florida USA


What can we do to improve the tour?


Let otters run around on the boat

Dear Anonymous of Florida,
WTF are you talking about? If we put a few wild otters inside the boat they would likely gnaw you to death in a panicked rage before you could locate the exit. No.
We thank you for your feedback.