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There's a Joke in There

The daily struggle is real. And often funny.

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Showing posts from October, 2013

Chances of Running Into Your Ex

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*Statistics extrapolated from personal experience, where the Chance Of Unexpectedly Running Into Your Ex and How Great You Look is an inversely proportional relationship

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What A Summer In Alaska Taught Me, Against My Will

They say all good things must come to an end*, and last week, just as the summer weather was making a final retreat, my time living and working in the seaside town of Seward on Alaska's Kenai Peninsula did exactly that - it became a good thing that ended. (*I'm unclear on the profundity of this saying though, because bad and mediocre things must also come to an end. Literally everything ends.) As I waited reluctantly at the Anchorage airport to board my red-eye flight to Los Angeles, I reflected upon my initial expectations for this adventure. Back in June, I felt confident that I was going to spend my weekends solo traveling throughout Alaska and that I would write every day and laugh smugly at small-town living. I wondered if I would cope earning minimum wage. I was terrified that I'd be sleeping in a bunk bed in dingy employee housing, sharing with 8 other, weird people. I worried that I hadn't packed enough warm clothes. In hindsight it's o

Night Life of Seward, Alaska

If you've never experienced a night out in a small town, I highly recommend that you try it before you die. Profound graffiti in the Yukon bar bathroom Here in Seward, aside from sighting water or a mountain, the least challenging task that you could undertake would be to locate an establishment that serves beer. Following that, the next easiest task would be finding someone willing to consume beer along with you. Due to convenience, drinking often begins at the Small Boat Harbor. The harbor is where most tour boats and fishing charters depart from and return to, thus at knock-off time, employees, captains, deckhands and fishermen need only cross a single street before arriving at alcohol. At ambience-free locations such as The Breeze, patrons enjoy a drink or two, maybe a bite to eat, and then, pending their willingness to continue spending their minimum wage on beer, they begin to trickle downtown, about a mile away. Means of transportation include walking, bicycling,

Personal Space: How Close Is Too Close?

The study of personal space is called Proxemics. That's right, it's science. The personal space bubble. I thought this concept was universally understood. I assumed that everyone was born knowing that there is a requisite amount of distance that must always be kept between yourself and another person. (Unless of course, you are doing activities where extreme closeness is essential. Such as delivering a baby, tandem skydiving, being the middle person in a threesome, huddling together in a bathtub to escape a fire, being carried out in rescue from a fire, sharing a joint that will later cause a fire, doing the tango, keeping a human warm during a snow storm because you're a werewolf with an elevated body temperature, getting/giving a lap dance, sharing a small prison cell etc.) Yet I find my naive hopes repeatedly dashed. Not only by those who continue to wear their hair in a mullet despite this being the internationally recognized symbol for 'Fail', but al

Chances of Running Into Your Ex

*Statistics extrapolated from personal experience, where the Chance Of Unexpectedly Running Into Your Ex and How Great You Look is an inversely proportional relationship

An'other' Suggestion for Facebook Relationship Status

I long for an 'Other' option in the Facebook drop-down menu for relationship status. And once selected, you could elaborate with a description of your own choosing: What is your relationship status? Afraid of Commitment Waiting For Boyfriend To Text Back In Denial Trying to Annul Vegas Marriage Polygamous Engaged But With Strong Reservations Ready To Lower My Standards Forever Alone Sexting A Lot Not Sure. She Looks Pissed. Clingy In addition, each time I changed my status, things like this would come up in everyone's newsfeed: Candice went from being Afraid of Commitment to Sleeping Alone Candice went from being Ready To Lower My Standards to Married Candice went from being Single & Ready to Party!! to Trying to Annul Vegas Marriage Candice went from being Polygamous to Send Help. This Is Cult. Have Only 30secs of Inter I do not think I would ever run out of ideas for this, nor would I ever tire of trying.