Pick Up Lines are the Dad Jokes of the Dating World

It's time I broke the news to anyone out there still using pick up lines - they will never work because pick up lines are the dad jokes of the dating world.  And nobody finds Dad Jokes sexy. (Except maybe your Mom. Probably not though.)

The Problem

Pick Up Lines and Dad Jokes have too much in common:

Suave Gorilla doesn't need help with the ladies. 
- at their "punch lines", both evoke the same response from anyone within earshot, namely the laugh-groan. There wouldn't even be a laugh portion were it not for social politeness which obligates us to throw the speaker a metaphorical bone. 

- both of these "witty" conversation styles are rife with puns. Too many puns. And puns aren't sexy either. 

- both are delivered with delusional confidence. This is despite repeated failures to elicit a positive response in the past. 

- rejection doesn't always make them stop coming. 

The Proof 

Read the mix of Pick Up Lines and Dad Jokes below and note your unchanging emotional response:

Breaking News! A hurricane has just hit the main cheese factory in France. All that's left is de-Brie.  (source @baddadjokes)

Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date? (source lolriot.com)

I've deleted the phone numbers of all the Germans I know from my mobile phone. Now it's Hans free.  (source @baddadjokes)

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy. (source lolriot.com)

     And that Do-ya-thinkhesaurusrex joke is the same one I 
used to pick up my wife 48 years ago.
Did you survive that barrage? Your emotions were probably equal parts frail amusement, justifiable displeasure and deep fear for (and of) humanity. And in real-life, all of those lines would have ended with the speaker eyeballing you smugly, their expression enquiring 'Did you see what I did there? That clever word play? Get it?'  
Side note: If you finish a joke and you need to ask this, your joke failed, man. It failed. 

My point is this: if you're aiming for sex appeal, the last thing you want to be doing is reminding someone of their Dad. 
(And if anyone reading disagrees with that statement, know this: you've got legitimate problems. The government has funds set aside for what you're dealing with.)

The Conclusion

Pick Up Lines = Dad Jokes ≠ You Getting Laid    

(...Did you see what I did there? How I made it science?)


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