There's a Joke in There

They say all good things must come to an end*, and last week, just as the summer weather was making a final retreat, my time living and working in the seaside town  of Seward on Alaska's Kenai Peninsula did exactly that - it became a good thing that ended.  (*I'm unclear on the profundity of this saying though, because bad and mediocre things must also come to an end. Literally everything ends.) As I waited reluctantly at the Anchorage airport to board my red-eye flight to Los Angeles, I reflected upon my  initial expectations  for this adventure. Back in June, I felt confident that I was going to spend my weekends solo traveling throughout Alaska and that I would write every day and laugh smugly at small-town living. I wondered if I would cope earning minimum wage. I was terrified that I'd be sleeping in a bunk bed in dingy employee housing, sharing with 8 other, weird people. I worried that I hadn't packed enough warm clothes. In hindsig...

Part of my job up here in Seward, Alaska, involves entering the feedback we receive from hundreds of comment cards that are returned to us by passengers after they have taken our boat tours. These are some of their least feasible suggestions.  Comment Card August 29th, 2013 Herman W, Germany What can we do to improve the tour? Cruise closer to mountains. Would help it be more dramatic and inspiring Dear Herman, It sure would! Especially if the boat hit the rocks and sank. Then you could mentally compose an inspiring poem while waiting for the coast guard to arrive and save whoever hadn't yet drowned. Good times! We thank you for your feedback.

Part of my job up here in Seward, Alaska, involves entering the feedback we receive from hundreds of comment cards that are returned to us by passengers after they have taken our boat tours. These are some of their least feasible suggestions.  Comment Card August 17th, 2013 Anonymous What can we do to improve the tour? The last hour of the tour seemed  unnecessary  Dear Anonymous, I beg to differ. The last hour of the tour returned you from the open waters of the Gulf of Alaska back onto land. Looking at it another way - that hour saved you from an almost certain, eventual death (due to starvation, drowning and/or hypothermia). We thank you for your feedback.

A few nights ago, I had my first encounter with the Alaskan police. Anyone who knows me must surely be thinking, 'well, this was inevitable'. Indeed. The evening had begun as it usually does here in Seward - with zero planning. A rumour began to surface about a bonfire that might be occurring somewhere at some point. For unknown reasons, no-one ever wants to commit to a bonfire too early in the day. All alternate options for night time activities must first be exhausted. Thus, late in the evening, after no better plan had revealed itself, people trickled down to the designated area, ignoring the 'no trespassing' signs, and a fire was lit on the beach. Not too long after that, in an unfamiliar and unwelcome twist, the police rolled up. As a regular viewer and fan of the reality television show Alaska State Troopers , I was really excited to spot one of Alaska's finest emerging through the clearing. As a citizen who realised she might be in some trouble, I was le...